Monday, May 30, 2011

Day 58

As for today, i would like to write about someone that i know very well.

wait. before ya. 

Aku maok jak tulis lam bi. tapi aku sedar bi aku terok cam ayam kenak cekik. so aku akan tulis post aku dalam bahasa sarawak la of course.campo la juak. bahasa rojak lah oh? janji torang paham. ok la ya. JUM MULA!

ada sorang pompuan tok. well aku kenal nya dalam 17 taun gya juak ada lah. tapi time kecik ya aku sik berapa kenal nya. tapi inside and outside aku tauk gne rupa pange nya.
nya tok anak pompuan dalam 5 orang adek beradek. perfect fam i must say. nya ada kakak,abang and adek. kira macam jadi anak pompuan last tok kedak the most perfect things ever. mak bapak nya sik la kaya. keja kerajaan jak. paham-paham la gine pay sidak kerajaan. mun mak bapak torang kerajaan paham la torang. family sidak tok idup besa jak la. bahagia. :)

time kecik, pompuan ya sikda kawan. too bad. most of the time nya macam rumah jak. main sorang-sorang while tengok dak jiran bekepong main basikal. bedekik segala paga gate pa suma. sikda orang sudi main game ngan pompuan tok bah. kesian. betaun benda tok berlalu, tapi nya sik dapat juak lupak kan benda ya. and paling sian, kadang-kadang benda tok masok lam mimpi nya balit. sedeh nya hidup.

nasib lah, ada siblings. so nya sik la sorang sorang. they cherished every moment. i remembered sidak nya penah bagik mandik kurak-kurak plastic. buat rumah kurak2 ya dari kotak pa suma. hahaha. main tapok tiap petang. and pompuan ya akan bawak kawan nya datang rumah and main hantu kat bilit sidak kat dibah. sometimes, kazen pompuan ya akan datang juak. rock the house and yeah. live every moment.

problems? well rasa nya, time nya gik biak. sikda apa nya mok gago. its like, sikda fear. sikda mok pike how will the future turn out. cruel world and seangkatan dengan nya nang sikda di pike. suma ya macam sik pernah terlintas kat palak. yeah, suma manusia gia. that the only time where we act stupid and so on. sik pelu act stupid la. because nang biak sik tauk apa apa. suma benda mok di main. benda susah embak tido. bila bangun nang kedak sik ingat gik. kira tido ya macam wash away the pain of yesterday.

makin besa, makin berlalu masa. suma nya udah berubah.
dari fam,dari kawan,dari lover suma berubah. well start from abc end up xyz. tetiba berubah start dari dfg end up mno ka apa ka. suma macam ya. kawan masing2 bawak haluan kedirik. fam mcm anco pa suma. kesian lahh.

kadang-kadang terpaksa senyum when its not the proper time to do so. tapi atas sebab mok kuat ati mok tabah, terpaksa lah. sik suma idup pompuan ya sedeh lah. ada juak nok happy tentang nya. nya ada gerek nok bait lalu and suma pompuan memang jeles la tengok nya ada gerek sebait ya. haha.

nya ada abang and kakak nok sentiasa support nya no matter what. sik penah give up mok tolong. gine gine, siblings juak la the best. parents nya pun ok juak. macam loving sidak pa suma. tapi yalah. sebab sorang buat hal. suma suffered. tapi gine gine, susah senang. berat ringan. terpaksa di harung juak.

i hope she can be much more stronger than before just because nya sik dapat berjaya pegi blaja pa suma. its not the end of the world.

with full of respect, i gave her my respects to live her lifes well.


the end.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 57

Perfect one week. I hope ure doin fine zac. :)

So hello people. hows life? good? mine ok lah. sik lah beyond excitement nok hidup tok best lalu. but still, maseh dapat di terimak. aku cuma boring jak sebab sikda benda mok di buat. serious shit, im bored. macam totally sikda benda k loya and so on. tok lah musim blog akan di biar terkapai kapai di awangan. LAME.

somehow, aku rasa macam mok update blog dengan benda nok apa aku rasa lately. this past few days, aku rasa macam something is missing. no, nothing is wrong with my love lifes of course. TO BE SURE. i still loves him and yeah he still loves me. Guarantee. my fam doin fine as well.  wait. there is one.
 

PENYAMBONGAN BELAJAR!


this is totally shitty. many of my friends dah g blaja, dh start update status orientasi this and that and me still doing nothing. my ass maseh dudok melekat rah kosi lappy tgk cerita dari pagi sampe malam. STALK ORANG oh yes im a stalker. so? haha. like u never... :)

how i wish i could performed better during spm. no heart ache during that moment. less messing around. should listen to parents advised. which is NO LAST MIN STUDY and so on. less face-booking, less twittering, neither blogging. but yeah. those fucking this that i didn't obey and plus those heart ache make me into this.  

hello silly life's.

by now ntah-ntah aku dah g blaja kali. sik payah gago nak tunggu rayuan pa suma. lelah oi hidup macamtok. dengan results 3 A and aku gik rah art stream idup susah oi. fuck my life lahh. ko pk aku sik riso ka ngan masa depan aku? orang science side score 1, 2 A maseh juak senang lenang goyang kaki maseh dapat masok local uni. heh. is this life? well. hate to admit it. cruel world.. 

ok lah. nang aku emo bah lately. memang lah. this is future man. sekali ko salah langkah, gelap punah terus oi. kita tok makin tua. masa sik ngepong kita. even satu min ya ko akan rasa ya berharga lalu eh bila ko pelu kan masa ya. seda sik seda one day later kita gik nok akan berada di tempat parents kita. mimpin family and so on. obs, kita maok anak kita dirik kita, senang kan. sik la ngarap reta laki ajak. ujong cerei payah. haha. talk shit mode. sorry. but this is fact. not some unidentified cheap statements. 

im being frank over here. i am not here to sell some lame shit. im tired of this cheap real society. 

im pissed. really. my dream is to study somewhere over msia and not in miri. guess i will stucked my ass here for the rest of my life's. 

if only if. there is no other party involved i might goin somewhere now. without bothering how will she felt when im no longer in miri for her.


fuck my life's.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 56

knock knock! who's there?

hi guys! its me. Hafizha! im back! its been a while i didn't update my blog. almost one week right?

so okay. let me tell you the reason why. gerek aku dah mok pegi blaja. so kamekorang ada tempoh 13 hari untok spend masa sama-sama before nya pegi blaja.
start dari 6th of may and 19th of may jak kamekorang ada masa untok besama-sama.

cerita aku tok sik la sesedeh ne, tapi mungkin bagi orang nok sik paham ka apa mesti rasa kedak cita aku tok sampah and menggelikkan. so mun ada apa-apa tanda meluat or fakto muntah muntah ya tekan jak (X) atas ya. sik susah ya. :) post kali tok maybe super duper long lah. aku akan cita dengan terperinci sik la terperinci gilak. boleh boleh laa. :)

jum mula!

Dalam tempoh 13 hari tok kan, kamekorang buat banyak benda and about trillion pics juak dah di ambik. within 13 days i started to get to know him better than i used to and macam love him even more than before. im so in love.

Mcmtok lah k.Mun aku padah day 1 ya ibarat hari petama untuk tempoh 13 hari ya la tek. paham? haha. malas ku explain bah. dah otak aku bekarat. lamak sik blaja tok macam tin kosong jak asa otak aku.

Day One. (6th may 2011)

hari tok lah keputusan upu ya kuar. which zac dapat masok ke asasi science shah alam and aku sik layak di terimak masok. sedeh la juak because nya macam berharap juak aku at least blaja sama tempat ngan nya walaupun sik sama uni ka apa.tapi apa kan daya?sik mampu nak ngubah fakto rezeki ya. so petang ya mbak ati sedeh nya ambik ku balit keja and kamekorang pegi GOL and macam cakap2 tentang tok. walaupun hakikatnya dudi ya kamekorang sik berdiscuss bebena oleh.

ok bayang-bayang aku pun cukup lah oh? :))


Day two. (7th may 2011)

he came over to my place and dahya kamekorang pegi boulevard. and my fucking pump molah issues. jadi croc bebena udah ne sik gam nya terbukak nya and nya tercabut. LOL. beli kain raya haha. dahya kamekorang pegi tanjong. we had fun. :)




day three. (8th May 2011)

kamekorang sik kuar ari tok. sebab mothers day. and ada krisis sikit. so aritok ada emo sikit. 

Day four. (9th May 2011)

he picked me up from office waktu lunch. aku ganti posa aritok. and we went to merdeka mall together and we had a great moment talking and laughing. ahahah. 

Day five (10th May 2011)

aku g dr aziz. zac teman aku g sia. and dahya kamekorg pegi sekolah. haha! tunggu adek nya. dahya g mall potong ambut. 





day six (11th May 2011)

ok. malam ya ada makan tahlel rumah izz. so aku pun pegi la ekot zac sia. then udah makan tahlel kamekorang suma g fun fair. haha. and kamekorang nait jejantas. first time! so memang sakai lalu lah time ya. dah la suma pake baju kurong and bebaju melayu. ahaha. 






day seven (12th May 2011)

teman zac pegi paxen tuka sloa. haha. had our lunch at madli's and dahya beli baju koler nya rah giardano. haha! ada shennen juak sia. :)) nya keja sia. 





day eight (13th May 2011)

my first day of having a driving license! :) my best Friday ever. trust me. this is where all the good things had started. we went to imperial mall together. and then we went to city fan. right after we went to citrus and then to parkson. we had such a treasure moment  on this time. really.








Day Nine (14th of May 2011)

ITS JAZZ FEST BITCH! so kamekorang pegi sia dengan dydy,shebby,nana and ady. haha. ok this is the best night ever. best ok. kamekorang denga org men music and so on. dahya boring kamekorg net pake lift and main kat tempat lobby sia? hahaa. lol. 




Day ten (15th May 2011)

we went to tanjong,taman awam,esplanade along with shebby and ady. right after that we went to bulatan cafe to treat ourself with some good food. hahaha :)





Day eleven (16th May 2011)

we had lunch together at hani cafe. :) 
and petang ya jumpa rah mcd. ahaa



Day twelve. (17th May 2011)

the saddest part ever. knowing his leaving tomorrow and we only have one day left to live the happiness in us. we managed to meet in the morning somehow. i went to his house just to say good morning. and right after that we had our lunch together at awang mahyan. hahaha. dahya g pam taya keta aku! haha! 
petang ya jumpa rah gcm. we talked and laughed so much. we went here during our first date months ago. so we gonna end up our last date right at this place too. so sad. i know.





day thirteen. (19th May 2011)

ahhh. the saddest part ever. he is now finally leaving to KL. we had our breakfast together followed by izz and shebby and so do his fam. and we spend our final time at air port. im gonna miss this by. bukan gonna. NANG UDAHH. so hard to let go. omg!!!!
the moment nya masok lam depart lounge ya aek mata nang sik pat tahan gik la. nang sedeh lalu lalu. 
haih.



however during 13 hari tok, mekorang do a lot of things together. i miss you boy. come back fast ok? im gonna pick u from air port. no matter what. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!



Friday, May 13, 2011

Day 55

friday friday friday! *singing happily*

so guess what? aku dah ada lesen!! and orang petama aku bawak kan zac!! ahahhaa!! so happy.

excited lalu ok.

k bai

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Day 54

Emo aku lamak-lamak tok oh?

memang. emo gilak gilak. selagik aku masih ngitong ari berapa lamak gik si zac ya nak pegi,selagik ya aku emo. sorry lah blog aku bertema kan emo love lamak-lamak tok. aku sik juak noreh tangan demi cinta, engkah pistol ke palak ka apa ka. tok cuma sekadar ayat-ayat yang menyedihkan. sik salah bah nak emo. sik la suma post aku happy jak.

aku nang suka and happy sebab zac akan pergi belaja pa suma. aku sik ngalang juak lah. come on. sapa-sapa pun di berik peluang untuk belaja, mun di soh g memang kita akan ambik kan. peluang udah ada. amik jak lah. aku tok mok juak belaja kat uni local bah. nang lah masalah aku emo tok sebab zac mok pegi blaja, tpi segek gik main reason is, aku sik di terimak masok ke uitm ya. well at least mun aku di terimak sik juak aku sesedeh tok.

nang lah masalah gerek jaoh jaoh tok ngundang kaie la apa lahh. tauk sik mekorang terpaksa keja masa. macam we need to do a lot of things together twice faster dari any other couple. not much time left bah.

salah la aku emo mun orang tersayang aku nak pegi jaoh dari aku? ya normal bah. dah aku sayang nya. haihh....

Day 53

Hari tok, aku berasa sungguh sedih and piluk. Tapi apa jak la pasaan aku untuk di kisahkan untuk hari yang bermakna kan? hari tok hari ibu. aku ingin mengucapkan selamat hari ibu kepada mak aku. jadi post tok aku tuju kan kepada mak aku. 


Every mother is our heroin. 
Basically i adore my mum inside and outside. she is the best.
waktu aku kecik kecik dolok, nya lah salu bawak aku. nyusu aku. berik makan. numpik makanan. besapik ngan aku. susah senang, banyak keja ne pun, mun aku merengek mesti nya akan be there for me. 


kalo kita nak list out apa pengorbanan mak kita kan, nang satu buku teks tebal sejarah ya sik dapat juak penoh. paling2 buku text setiap subject di gumpol kali bok kita dapat abis kan.


dari saat kita udah lam perut mak, kita sik sedar kita tok udah nyusah mak kita. nya lah merasa sakit saat kita nendang perut pa suma. saat kita laher kat dunia tok pa suma. tapi settern orang elek jak madah " AKU SIK MINTAK DI LAHER KAT DUNIA TOK". 
tanpa pike, apa pasaan seorang mak akan dgar bila nya dgar anak nya nok nya kandong 9 bulan, sakit sengsara susah mok tido pa suma di balas mcm ya jak. piluk oi asa. 


benda nok depan mata, selagik dapat di hargai, hargai abis2. kadang kala, aku tok rasa aku tok kurang aja jak ngan mak aku. yalah, kita tok darah gik mudak. gik panas. setiap ayat kita madah ngan mak kadang2 walaupun kita sik maksud kan nang akan makan ati mak.


mak kita tok ati lembut. satu hari lak kita boh lupak, lak saat kita gik akan jadi seorang mak or bapak kepada anak anak kita. 


mummy im so sorry if i ever hurt you (bukan ever nang salu) and thanks for everything.




i love you mummy. forever i will.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Day 52

benda bagus and sik bagus berlaku pada masa yang sama.
ya topic aku untuk ari tok.

sik perlu aku explain banyak-banyak, sik pelu aku nak jelaskan dengan lebih maksima,tapi yang pasti apa yang aku lalui sekarang macam ada bukit di bahu aku.

  • lets talk about the good thing first. 
  1. so, lepas aku berusaha tiap minggu pergi juak jpj test tanpa jemu walopun ati udah lelah and malas, aku aher nya lulus jpj test. selepas berusaha 4 kali aher nya pada kali ke empat ya aku lulus juak. pasaan aku time ya, asa macam menang loteri berjuta-juta jak. 
  2. zac aher nya dapat masok uitm! im so happy for him. really i am. im proud of you my boy. :)
  • bad bad side. 
  1. aku sik di terimak masok ke uitm. which is sadd. really.. 
  2. his leaving soon. this 20th of may. aku ngitong ari jak tunggu nya nak pergi tok. another 13 more days to go. :(((((((

how do i feel? of course im sad. really sad.. beyond sad. 



till we meet again. 

Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 51

hello every each of you. 

A very unpleasant day for me to start my writing. Today is not my day. unfortunately. I'm not in mood to do anything. I'm not in mood to talk to anyone. Nothing personal it just i don't want to have any conversation with anyone.maybe i need some space. Well, this it it. I'm leaving now. Will write again soon.

xx

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Day 50

Hello everyone.


True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Fran├žois, duc de La Rochefoucauld.

This is my day 50th post. So in conjunction of “50th-post-day” I would like to write something for my boyfriend. This is normal. I am now is in relationship with Nizar and its normal for me to write and talk about him. You can hate me or spread this post to anyone if you think this post annoyed you or something. You can laugh all day long because I don’t speak good English like the way you do, you can slap me because I don’t know how to expressed my feelings but whatever I write here is sincerely from the bottom of my heart. This post might be too early as we just been together for one month’s plus.  However, that is not the problem. Love didn’t count within days. It is depending from how far and how deep the love was when you guys were together. Sometimes if you were dating someone over a few years ahead but the income is not as what u had expected. 

I learnt so much from my past. For the past 3 years I’d living with happiness and sadness at the same time.  Too much of broke up, too much or tears but I don’t want to be known as someone who is holding on grudge over my ex because I’m not. I would like thanks him for letting me know that this broke up is the best thing ever. You made me realize people come and go & relationship is not all about love but trust and honesty. Everything was upside down at first but now I find someone internally can take a good care of me, Nizar Zacariyya. 

For the past few weeks, I always have a problem with myself where some part of me still feel and thought that we were still a good friend. Basically, lot of people assumed that he is my best friend. Somehow, we never declared the BFF part. NEVER. I admit we always went out together, he picked me up from my house, my office but we never had those feelings towards each other.  Soon after that, a lot of rumors between me and him were dating but we never looked at it as a serious matter because we know our policies the best. HA-HA. 

Things just happened in the blink of an eye. I am now with him. He makes me feel specials in any ways. He will always be there for me if I needed him around. Trust me. He will find any way to be there for me without care what the consequences are,after. I can’t find any reason why I need to find anyone else to replace him. Doesn’t matter if he likes to tease me even though he knows it’s not the perfect time to do so because one day later I will miss that a lot. I will. Trust me. 

One thing for sure, we don’t have much time left. We will spread our wings to pursue our studies somewhere and I know the possibilities for us to at least study at the same state about 0.1%. What else to say about studying at the same colleagues or universities. That will be about 0.0%. Hey, i just want you to know,when we are together or when we apart, you are always in my mind, always in my heart.

Lastly but not least,

Thanks for being there when I needed a shoulder to lean on, for patiently listening to my personal problems. I just want you to know how happy am I to have you in my life and I thank Allah for that. When I'm with you, I feel no fear, not even a single one. I know that when you say you love me and I admit that I've fallen for you, I know that I wouldn't shed any tears from now on. I love you and that's what I want you to bear in your mind, and it's for keeps.

Yours and only yours,
Nur Hafizha Husini 

P/S: Totally grammar knocked out. sorry.
 
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